Six foot four. Size fifteen feet. Impressively endowed. Consistently bemused. Rarely certain where keys are.

I make content, I tell dumb jokes and stories, and I make you feel like you’re the most important person in the world, because right now, as far as I’m concerned, you are

I won’t pretend to have it all together — but the parts that are together make me so much more than just a pretty face and a big dick.

(I mean, the dick is doing a lot of the hard work, and I am quite attached to it, so nothing wrong with that)